Escape to the Host Club!
by ShadowHawq35
Summary: When Edward demands for a mission out of the country, he doesn't expect to go to school... or join a Host Club for that matter. Though he can't let his youth get mixed into the real reason why he's in Japan, and when someone starts murdering the students, Edward might have to turn to his new friends for help.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright, first chapter! Here we go!  
****Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or Fullmetal Alchemist, otherwise there wouldn't be a need for a disclaimer.  
**

Chapter 1: Arrival At Ouran

"Give me a mission." Edward demanded, bursting into the Colonel's office without so much as a hello.

Roy looked up from his paperwork, "Fullmetal, isn't this a pleasant surprise."

Ed glared at him through burning gold eyes. "I need a mission, out of town. Anywhere but here."

Roy raised an eyebrow and glanced over Edward's shoulder. Not at what was there, but more what _wasn't _there.

"Where's Alphonse?"

"That's not important right now," Ed snapped, "Just give me a mission out of central, hell, out of the country even."

Roy sighed, "Alright, there a mission opening in Japan if you're really that eager. It's a murder case, not exactly state alchemist material but it's the only one out of the country."

"I'll take it."

"Alright, but I'll need to fill you in on some things." Roy handed Edward a folder, and as Ed sat on the couch to read, the colonel began to explain,

"His name is Garret Dugan. He escaped from prison a few weeks ago, somehow made it to Japan and is now murdering people of all ages. We haven't found a pattern in the killings yet, and the only similarities between the victims we could find is that they are all filthy rich. You are to remain as an undercover citizen and not make yourself noticed. Blend in as best as you can. Hide your automail, your alchemy skills, and your status in the military. The people there don't know about automail or alchemy, so do your best. You are to place Garret under arrest and bring him back to Amestris. Use force if necessary."

Edward nodded, surprisingly cooperative despite his attitude, "Got it."

Roy tossed him something small, metallic and black.

"It's a cellphone," Roy explained, "Use it to contact me at anytime, I also expect you to answer it."

Edward made a sound somewhere between a grunt of irritation and a laugh.

Roy ignored it and checked the clock on the wall, "Your train leaves in one hour, you'd better stop by the bank and grab as much money as you can for travel fees and any other expenses."

Edward nodded again and glanced once more at the file in his hand. Not at the meaningless notes inside, but at the grainy picture of a man in prison clothing. His hair was jet black, and hung greasy and lank around his shoulders. His eyes were narrowed, and his lips were twisted into a wicked smile.

Furrowing his brow, Edward knew something about this man was wrong. His pupils were dilated, making it seem like he had no iris at all, and his teeth were sharp and pointed. His fingernails were long, dirty and sharpened, so much so that they looked like claws.

"He's a chimera." Edward said with realization.

Roy leaned back in his chair, "He was fused with a cougar, one of the early experiments of lab 5."

Edward's jaw tightened. He didn't like to think about chimera's, they reminded him too much of Nina,

"Alright," Edward said, disappearing from the room in seconds.

After grabbing as much money as he needed at the bank, Ed packed his bag and bought his train ticket. Thankfully, he didn't have to cross the ocean to get to Japan, but it was a long ride. Two days worth of a long ride.

After boarding the train, Edward finally let his thoughts drift to Alphonse, he couldn't help wondering if his little brother would be okay without him, then shook the thought away. _Al is fourteen now,_ Ed told himself, _He can take care of himself, he doesn't need me around all the time… that's what he said after all…_

Yet Edward still couldn't shake his feelings of regret as the train pulled him away from Amestris.

When he finally arrived in Japan, Ed was suffering from serious jet-lag. His whole body felt like jelly after riding around that train for two days.

After stepping off the train and getting his first glimpse of this new country, Edward figured he should probably secure a place to stay. After walking a few blocks, Edward finally found what he was looking for, an apartment complex.

He went in and talked to the man running the place for a bit.

"Excuse me?" Edward said in practiced Japanese, "I'm looking for a place to stay, can I rent an apartment?"

"Sure thing," The man answered, Handing Ed some keys, just pay the rent at the end of every month and you have yourself a place. How long do you think you'll be staying?"

"I don't know," Edward answered honestly. It could take days, or even weeks to track down the murderer.

The man waved him off and Ed found his apartment number. Turning the key in the lock he entered, throwing his suitcase on the bed and peeling off his jacket. He had arrived late at night and he was seriously beat, he figured tomorrow he would start his search.

Edward woke early, rubbing his eyes and muttering a sleepy, "Good morning," To Alphonse. It was only when Ed realized that Al wasn't actually there and was back in central did Edward feel a sharp pang of loss and regret.

"Al doesn't _want_ me with him;" Edward whispered to himself sharply, "Al doesn't want me to be there anymore." Yet he still couldn't shake that dull hollowness that throbbed inside his heart, reminding him constantly of his brother's absence.

Later that morning Ed went for a walk around town, just getting the feel for the place. He passed plenty of shops along the way, and he stopped by a nearby supermarket to buy some groceries. Seeing as he wasn't staying in a hotel, he would have to make do with buying his own food.

He got home later that evening feeling much better than he did the previous night. A good amount of exercise and he was ready for anything.

After putting the bags of food on the counter, Ed made his way to his room, ready to resume the search the next day. Not a moment before Edward glomped his bed, his pocket vibrated and he pulled out his phone, flipping it open to see the words ROY MUSTANG on the screen.

"Even in Japan I can't get away from this guy," Ed muttered to himself before deftly pressing the talk button and holding it up to his ear.

"_Hello Fullmetal, enjoying your stay?"_

"It would be a hell of a lot better if you didn't call me."

"_I was just making sure you made it safely, any luck finding your target?"_

"No."

"_I guess you wouldn't be able to spot him, you're a little too short to see people's faces."_

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A RICE-GRAIN MIDGET WHO NEEDS A STOOL TO TALK FACE TO FACE WITH ANYONE AROUND HIM!?"

Ed heard Roy chuckle, which was highly infuriating to an already-hyped up blonde.

"_Anyway, in order for you to blend in well with society I think you should probably go to a high school."_

"Won't that take time away from the search?"

"_Actually, I think it might help. All the students who attend this particular school are the children of rich families. I think if our murderer were to strike, it would be there."_

Edward sighed, "Do I really _have_ to attend? Can't I just spy on the students or something?"

"_While that would be increasingly difficult with the security systems and such, I think if you pose as a student, you could gain information from the people attending if they know anything. I've already called the school and set up an arrangement for you to take the entrance exams. The name of the school is Ouran Academy, be there tomorrow." _

Letting out a moan and a nearly inaudible, "Okay," Edward hung up the phone.

"Ouran Academy…" Edward muttered to himself. Glancing at the clock hanging on the wall, he realized it was late. He should be getting some sleep.

After climbing into his bed and pulling the blankets over him, Edward hoped he would easily rift off to sleep. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. He was kept awake by his thoughts of the new high school and Alphonse. It seemed Edward just couldn't take his mind off his little brother. He wondered how Al was doing, if he was worried, and if he was searching for the philosopher's stone. Ed shook his head at an attempt to erase the thoughts of his brother from his mind. It didn't work.

Edward growled in frustration, _why can't I stop thinking about him? He said he didn't want me there anymore!_

Edward arrived at the entrance exams fully prepared. He hadn't needed to study at all, but he had searched up what the average IQ was for students in second year high school and marked the boundaries by which to restrain himself. If he was going to have to blend in, he would make sure he was just another average student. He wouldn't involve himself in anything; if he did he might give away his position to his target.

His plan was to quietly gain information from the students, track down the murderer, and get the hell out of Japan. It wasn't anything particularly wrong with the country itself, per-say… But Ed never realized how much his home country meant to him. He wanted to be there with Winry, and Al, hell, Ed even missed granny Pinako. He couldn't care less about the Colonel though; he was a pain in the ass.

Although Ed hated to admit it, he hadn't actually been to school since before his mother died. The only people he had hung out with that were actually his age were Al, Winry, and Ling. Edward wouldn't say it out loud, but he knew he had a serious problem with his social skills.

Checking the address once more to make sure he was heading in the right direction, he rounded the corner and was nearly blinded by the severe brightness of what he knew immediately as Ouran Academy. The school was undeniably well taken care of and expensive, exactly the kind of thing Edward wasn't used to.

He narrowed his eyes and proceeded forward. _Let's just get this over with,_ Edward thought to himself, wishing desperately that the murderer would just appear before him and arrest himself. Edward was beginning to regret ever leaving Amestris in the first place.

The office was right at the front entrance, thankfully, that way Ed wouldn't have to risk getting lost in this crazy place. He entered the office and the secretary looked up from whatever she was doing on her computer (probably face booking) and asked what Edward was doing there in Japanese.

"I'm the new transfer student." Edward replied, "I'm here to take the entrance exam."

"Oh yes," The secretary said in a bored voice, "Go in the room on your left, and the exam will take place. You have two hours.

Edward shrugged and opened the door to the room, seeing a small desk with various tools laid out just-so. He sat on the chair and picked up the pencil, beginning automatically.

During the first few questions, Edward tried to act as a normal student and really think hard as he came across each one, though once ten minutes had gone by, Edward finally thought to himself, _Ah, screw it_, and began answering the questions at his own pace.

He had finished within forty-five minutes and stared at the finished paper disappointedly. He knew he could've done it in thirty, if only he hadn't tried to slow down on the first questions.

Sighing, Ed picked up the stack of papers and exited the room. As he passed the secretary again he held the paper up and asked where to put it.

The secretary jumped a little at Ed's question, whether it was from his sudden question or his speed finishing the test… well, that was a mystery.

"One moment please," The secretary said hastily, disappearing into one of the back rooms, leaving Edward standing there, holding his test papers.

The secretary came back out into the front room in second, "Alright then Mr. Elric, if you don't mind, the chairman would like to see you."

Edward raised an eyebrow, were they denying him entrance into the school? He kept his mouth shut and proceeded into the room. Edward had already forced himself to get used to the high ceilings and expensive tapestries lining the walls. He had chosen to full-out ignore how over-the-top everything was, it just made him feel even smaller.

The chairman was sitting at his desk, resting his chin on his fist, attempting to act like he was deep in thought about something, when Edward saw that he was just bored. The chairman looked up as Ed entered the room and faked a smile,

"Edward, so good to see you!" The headmaster exclaimed.

"Why are you acting so surprised when you knew I was coming?" Edward muttered under his breath in Amestrain.

If the chairman heard anything, he didn't show it. "I was informed of you transferring to our school for... travel experience, correct?"

Edward laughed inwardly; Mustang must've had his own special kind of humor, travel experience was something Ed had a little too much of. Though he held his tongue and simply nodded.

"During your time here you might find that our school is a bit more… extravagant then others. Feel free to ask anyone if you lose your way." The chairman continued, "You may call me Mr. Suoh. I am the chairman of this school. Your guardian pre-paid for your uniform and books," Mr. Suoh gestured to the stack of books neatly set out on his desk and held up a powder-blue uniform for Edward.

"Wait," Edward cut in, "But what about the entrance exams? No one's checked the answers yet to see if I passed." He held up the stack of papers still in his hand for emphasis.

The chairman waved his hand in dismissal, "When you can pay for machines you don't need anyone to mark you. We had a camera filming you the whole time. Congratulations, you've received one-hundred percent on your entrance exam and have completed it in record time. I imagine soon you'll be all the talk of your new school."

Ed widened his eyes, he knew he should've just done the test slowly and answered a few questions wrong on purpose. The whole point of his mission was to remain undercover, and he blew it the first day of school. Being a child prodigy had its faults.

He was handed his books and uniform and was shooed out of the room. Sent home until the next day, when school would begin.

Returning home, Edward threw his school crap on his floor just inside his door and stared at the top of the pile. Not only had Mustang sent him to a rich-kid school, but a private school with uniforms.

Running a hand through his hair, Edward turned away from the powder-blue uniform and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He turned the shower on cold and jumped in. Reveling in the icy water, he listened for a few moments to the faint pinging noise the small droplets of water made on his automail, cooling the metal instantly. It made his ports ache but Ed resisted the urge to turn the heat on. He wanted to remind himself of his goal, his purpose.

He had to bring Al's body back. No matter what.

Turning the knob to turn the water off, Edward stepped out of the shower and toweled himself off. As he did so, he considered calling the Colonel to cut off the mission, but then reminded himself of his reasons for being in Japan in the first place. He needed some time away from everything, from Alphonse.

Ed flopped on his bed and pulled out his phone, dialing the colonel's number. He heard a small beep as Mustang answered.

_"Hello?"_

"Do I have to go to school?"

_"Yes, Fullmetal."_

"Ugh, go screw yourself."

Edward snapped his phone shut and tossed it on the floor, shifting around so he was more comfortable. Ed laid his head on the pillow and readied himself for school the next day. To be perfectly honest with himself, Edward didn't exactly have the best social skills. Winry was his only real friend, and they had known each other since forever. He wondered how hard it would be to actually try to win other people's trust in order to gain information about the murderer. He considered just eavesdropping on other's conversations, but then deemed that it would take too long. He didn't think he would feel this way about his home country so soon after he left.

Closing his eyes, Edward slipped into a soundless sleep.

**A/N: Finished! Subscrib- I mean review! Also, give me any tips on how to make this thing better! I will see you in the next chappy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: You know, I didn't actually think I would get any reviews for this thing, but I got one! WHICH MAKES ME SOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAPPY!  
In any case, I really have no idea what my schedule is going to be like for this... maybe every... friday? Who knows, I'm kinda excited with this story though so I might post before friday, only time will tell!  
Here's the 2nd chappy! Enjoy!  
****Disclaimer: *raises right hand* I solemly swear that I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Ouran High School Host Club. I am simply a fan writing stuff and posting it on a website.**

Chapter 2: The Host Club

"Stupid freaking uniform…" Ed grumbled as he tugged on the collar of his itchy new set of clothes. Everything about them felt wrong, the feel, the formality, everything. He wished for his old clothes back, the ones he had worn out for nearly two years.

Checking his schedule and map again, Edward headed toward his homeroom, class 1-A. Finally getting to where he was headed after getting lost three times. He got in the door just as the bell rang, breathing out a sigh of relief. He didn't exactly want to be late on his first day.

As he entered the room, the teacher grabbed his arm, positioning him in front of the class without warning.

"Uh…" Edward didn't exactly know what to say to the sea of faces staring up at him expectantly.

"Class," The teacher announced, "This is our new transfer student, and he will be staying in our class for the remainder of the year. Can you tell us you're name?" She was addressing Edward now.

"Oh, uh, my name is Edward Elric," He bowed respectfully to the class, "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Searching the room, he found an empty seat beside a kid with bright orange hair. He kept his eyes trained forward, attempting to listen to the teacher as she lectured, but it wasn't that easy when all she said was things that he already knew.

_They sure go easy on these kids here._ Ed mused to himself. He was broken out of his thoughts as someone poked him in the side. It was the red-headed kid he saw earlier.

"Hey, you're the new transfer student right?" He asked.

"I thought you would've heard that from the teacher." Ed deadpanned.

"I'm Kaoru, and that guy over there is my brother, Hikaru." The guy named Karou pointed to another kid next to him. Ed did a double-take on the other guy, Hikaru.

_They look exactly the same!_ Ed realized suddenly, _twins?_

Kaoru gave a shy smile, "If you need anything, just ask me or my brother okay? We'd be happy to introduce you to some of the people we know."

Edward huffed, "Thanks, but no thanks." He turned his gaze back to the front, ending the conversation. Then he thought for a moment, the more people he knew, the less time it would take to end the murder case, then he could go home. He turned back to Kaoru,

"Actually, that'd be great, thanks."

Kaoru grinned, "No problem."

Though, as Edward watched Kaoru turn back towards the front, he saw a mischievous glint play across his face. Edward narrowed his eyes, something didn't really add up about Kaoru. Why was he being so nice on the first day?

Ed considered that it was a trick, but then decided against it. Even if it really was, Ed wasn't worried about himself though, he could hold his own in a fight just fine.

The classes passed by slowly, and Ed was about as bored as he had ever been. It wasn't like he could ask anyone about the murderer during classes, so for that time he had to just try and listen to the teachers.

The end of school finally came, and Edward was the last person out of the classroom. He packed his bags and sighed,

"Well that was a whole lot of pointless." He muttered to himself. He didn't even hear one little word of the murderer. Instead he just wasted his time while he could've been searching.

Ed grabbed his bag and headed for the door, preparing himself to start searching the town later on.

As soon as he set foot outside the door, two arms looped into his. He looked up, it was that Kaoru guy from earlier, and Hikaru too.

"Uh…"

"Come on!" Hikaru said,

"We told you we would introduce you to some people we know, didn't we?" They both said together.

"What?" Ed exclaimed. The two twins dragged him down one of the halls, "This is kidnapping!"

Against his will, Hikaru and Kaoru hauled Edward down the corridor, and passed some highly exaggerated arched windows.

"HEY! Stop it! I can walk on my own you know!"

They finally stopped in front of gold-lined double doors.

"Where the hell are we?" Edward demanded, struggling fiercely against the two twins. He hoped Hikaru didn't notice the hardness of his right arm, seeing as it was made of steel and all. According to the colonel, the people in Japan didn't know anything about automail.

The twins didn't answer; they just exchanged mischievous looks and opened the doors.

"We got him boss!" Hikaru announced,

"Just like you asked!" Kaoru finished.

"What the hell is going on?!" Ed screamed, despite his struggling, he still managed to survey the room with sharp eyes.

Though the sign on the outside of the room said music room 3, the interior looked nothing like a music room.

Plush couches were carefully arranged around tables stacked high with cakes and tea cups. The room itself was huge, with a door to a changing room on the far side. A few people milled around the room as well. All five of them boys… wait, no. Four of them were boys, one was a girl dressed in a boy's uniform. Edward only had a brief moment to wonder why before a dramatic voice broke him out of his thoughts,

"Yes! He's definitely the perfect one!" A tall blonde boy rushed over to Edward and stuck his nose two inches from Ed's face.

"Uh-"

"Everything about you just screams that you want to be admired!"

His arms were still trapped by two identical kidnapers, so all Ed could do was give the blonde kid a glare. "What are you talking about?!"

"You're eyes, hair, and body show that you're perfect host club material!"

"Will someone please tell me what is going on?!"

The blonde kid sighed and finally widened the gap between his face and Ed's. "Oh yes, introductions." He snapped his fingers and the five other people in the room came to his sides. "This is Kyoya Ootori," the blonde guy gestured widely to a tall dark-haired boy with glasses,

"This," the blonde swept his arm again to another tall, dark guy, though without glasses. "is Takashi Morinozuka, though you can just call him Mori,"

"This" Next, Edward laid his eyes on a kid who looked no more then four. "is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, you can call him Honey,"

_He can't be a high school student_. Edward thought to himself.

"And this," The blonde grabbed the girl dressed in a boy uniform, "Is Haruhi Fujioka."

Edward raised an eyebrow at the brown-haired girl, but didn't ask any questions.

The blonde got his attention by doing a girly spin in the middle of the music room, "And I," He said grandly, "Am Tamaki Suoh, the king of this host club. You already know Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin don't you?"

"A little too much," Edward grumbled to himself, reminded again that the twins continued to refuse to let go of his arms. Then said a little louder, "And I'm here… why?"

Tamaki gave a small gasp, like he was surprised Ed didn't know yet,

"You're here to join the Host Club, aren't you?"

"The what club?"

Tamaki's face took on a shade of gray, and he glared at Ed's two kidnapers.

"You mean you didn't tell him about it?"

Hikaru and Kaoru shrugged, "He didn't seem like the type who would join willingly." They chorused.

Tamaki went back to his sickeningly cheerful self, "Oh well, I'll just explain it to him then." Tamaki heaved a sigh and faced Edward, "A few years ago, we all started a host club together. The host club is a way for the schools most handsome boys with too much free time on their hands, to entertain you ladies, also with way too much free time on their hands. And I must say, you'd make a great addition to the club."

Edward finally released himself from the twins grip, "Well, I'm sorry, but looks, social skills, and free time are three things that I don't have. Sorry, but I'll have to refuse your offer."

Ed turned to leave, but found Tamaki blocking the door with huge puppy dog eyes.

"Everything about you screams host club material! Your eyes are an unnatural color, and your hair is long and gold, and your skin is perfectly tanned!" Edward thought Tamaki would start crying his eyes were watering so much.

Edward pushed Tamaki aside, "Leave me alone, I have better things to do."

He grabbed the door handle and wrenched the thing open, leaving in a flash. _Brilliant, _Edward thought angrily, _Now I've wasted time I could've spent searching for the murderer. _

He found his bag and made his way to the outside of the school, he had just about enough of that weird club. Edward didn't really enjoy hanging out with people he didn't know; it was all just too sudden for him.

Finally reaching his apartment, he changed out of his itchy uniform and back into his real clothes. Edward breathed a sigh of relief at the familiarity. He wanted as much reminder of home as possible.

Not a moment after he stepped back outside the door his phone vibrated in his pocket, he grabbed it and flipped it open.

"What is it Colonel?" He said bluntly.

_"Brother!" _

Edward gasped in shock, of all people he didn't think _Alphonse_ of all people would call him,

"Al! Wha-how did you get this number?"

_"Colonel Mustang gave it to me. I've been so worried about you brother! Why didn't you write or tell me where you were going?"_

"Well… I uh, didn't think you wanted to hear from me after… after what happened."

Al fell silent; the only thing showing that he hadn't already hung up was his slight breathing.

_"Brother…"_

"Yeah? What is it Al?"

_"Be careful, okay?"_

Edward smiled for the first time in a while.

"Okay, take care of Winry for me."

_"Okay."_

They both said their good-byes and Edward hung up the phone.

"Who was that?"

Ed jumped at the voice, and turned to see that girl he saw at the crazy club… Haruhi, was it?

"What are you doing here?" He asked suspiciously, thinking that maybe she followed him here.

"I live here." She deadpanned, holding up a grocery bag, "Club activities were cut short today. I'm in the apartment down the row with my dad."

"Uh… cool." Poor Edward, his complete lack of social skills wasn't really doing him any favors in this conversation. Ed suddenly remembered the question that had been nagging him since he first saw Haruhi, "Hey, um… why do you wear the boys uniform when you're a girl?"

Haruhi shrugged, "It's a bit of a long story. In short, I broke a vase, everyone thought I was a boy, and they had me join their club before they all figured it out."

Edward was surprised she came out so cleanly on the subject. To him it seemed like she had some kind of dark secret… that, or maybe she was lesbian. Whichever.

Haruhi slipped passed him with a wave, "See you at school tomorrow."

Edward watched her unlock her apartment door and step inside, calling out, "I'm home!" probably to her father. Ed winced, he wished he had someone to come home to still, but thanks to his mother's illness and his fathers idiocy, he and Al were left alone.

Shaking his head to clear it of the memories before he could bring himself to think of that night when he and Al committed the taboo, Ed walked down the steps and started his search again.

The town he was staying in was fairly quiet and peaceful. It seemed the only interesting things happened in that crazy pink school, though even those times are pretty subtle.

_Crap!_ Edward mentally slapped himself for being so stupid, _I forgot to ask Haruhi whether she knew about the murderer or not! Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Ed sighed, he wasn't going to get anywhere on this mission if he didn't make any progress.

He had asked a few discreet questions to a couple townspeople, but they hardly knew anything other than rumors. Edward wished desperately that the murderer would make it easy for him and just go back to central and turn himself in. Of course, that wouldn't happen.

After walking around without any leads, Ed finally had to turn in for the night. It was past midnight, and Edward was practically sleeping on his feet. Between school, eating, and searching for a murderer, Ed didn't have much time to sleep nowadays.

He sluggishly made his way back to his apartment and turned the key in the lock, closing the door behind him. Ed fell onto his bed and passed out before his head even hit the pillow.

The next morning, Edward woke up early once again, it wasn't that he wanted to; it was just force of habit. He took a quick shower and put his hair into its usual braid, he got his uniform on and grabbed his bag full of stuff he didn't need. Who needs to write everything down on paper when you can just memorize it?

Checking the clock one more time to make sure he wasn't leaving too early, Ed opened his apartment door and stepped outside, nearly bumping into a surprised Haruhi.

"Oh, uh, good morning Edward,"

"'Morning,"

She looked closely at him, "Not really a morning person are you?"

Edward shook his head, "I just didn't get that much sleep last night."

Haruhi nodded in understanding, "So, want to walk to school?"

"Yeah, sure."

There was a pregnant silence as Haruhi and Edward made their way to Ouran Academy. Ed was debating whether to ask Haruhi if she knew anything about the murderer, after all, it was his perfect chance, but something held him back. He wasn't sure what it was, but he thought that maybe he just wanted to stop her from worrying. She kind of reminded him of Al once in a while, and he didn't know what her reaction would be.

They finally reached the extravagant school for the rich and beautiful, and Ed took a deep breath as the entered the school together.

**A/N: Yeah... not the best one ever... but the next chapter will be better! I promise!  
Ed: Pffft, yeah right, I didn't make any progress at all in this chapter.  
Me: Oh yeah! Well, uh...  
Ed: You don't even have a good comeback!  
Me: Insult me all you want Edward Elric. But it still wont make you any taller.  
Ed: WHO'RE YOU CALLING A BEANSPROUT MIDGET WHO CANT EVEN-  
Me: and that's all we have for today folks! Stay excellent, don't do drugs and most importantly... REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yes! I posted at the time I said I would! Aren't I a genius? (This is the part where you say yes) **

** FYI to all those wondering, I'm not actually that sure about pairings yet. I was never really intending this to be a romance fic, but just a heads up: there might be some mention of EdWin, and possibly Royai, but if you have any suggestions for Ouran pairings please let me know! ^_^**

**Anyway, time for the 3****rd**** chapter!**

** Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or OHSHC. If I did, Hughes wouldn't have died and Renge wouldn't have such an annoying voice. **

Chapter 3

As soon as they walked through the doors, Ed and Haruhi noticed the large group of people standing near the doorway.

"What's going on?" Ed said out loud, more to himself then to Haruhi.

Haruhi shrugged and they both made their way to the huge crowd of people in the hallway.

Edward didn't have to ask his question a second time. They heard it as soon as they got within hearing distance.

"Have you heard? A senior boy was murdered last night."

"He was walking around town last night and didn't come home, they found his body this morning."

"I thought he was at the bar and got murdered there."

"No, he was with his sister at the time, wasn't he?"

"I'm pretty sure he was by himself…"

The story's varied, but one variable remained.

Someone was killed last night.

Edward's eyes widened, was it the murderer described in his mission? He shoved his way towards the middle of the crowd.

"Does anyone know how he was killed?" Ed asked, trying to make himself heard among the throng of people.

"They said he was attacked by a dog."

"If he was attacked by a dog then it wouldn't be considered a murder, stupid."

"It must've been a human, right?"

"I dunno, they said it was like claw and teeth marks."

"What if they come for us?"

Edward fought his way out of the crowd, he had heard all he needed to know. The kid was killed by some kind of canine, but the case was classified as murder. Which meant…

"It was the chimera." Ed muttered to himself. A feeling of dread began to overwhelm him, along with a sharp pang of guilt that he knew only too well.

_I could've stopped the chimera._ Edward thought, _I could've stopped that kid from getting murdered._

Ed ignored Haruhi's exclamation of surprise as he emerged from the crowd and bolted off to a corridor with less people in it. He didn't stop running until he burst into an empty bathroom.

Edward cursed himself for moving too slow, for not picking up on the details. He could've… should've… would've…

Spinning on his heel, Ed whirled and punched a wall, hard. A huge snapping sound resonated throughout the bathroom, and a web of cracks erupted from the point which Ed hit the tile wall. It was only after he had attacked the wall he realized he had officially damaged school property, and resisted the urge to punch it again.

He didn't know the kid who got murdered, heck, they probably never even saw each other passing in the halls, but Ed knew that the kid had a life. He would've grown up and taken over his family's business and become some kind of rich billionaire. If only Ed had worked faster, tried harder. It wasn't until today Edward finally realized that peoples _lives_ were at stake. This was his mission. And he was going to complete it.

Now, the resolve that fueled him ran on two things. To get back to Amestris; and stop other people from getting killed.

_Okay, first thing's first. _Ed thought to himself, pushing most of his guilt and anguish aside, _I need to meet people._

With a plan in mind, Ed set off down the hall to his first class with newfound confidence. He knew just where to go from there.

After the first few classes, Ed could almost predict what was going to happen. The lunch bell rang, and not a moment after Edward stepped out of the classroom he was met with a puppy-eyed Tamaki. Edward didn't know the guy that well, but he had seen his type before. Predictable was one word to describe him.

"You know," Edward said before Tamaki could start, "The host club might actually be a good idea."

Tamaki beamed, "I knew my magnificent aura would win you over at one point Edward, even though you're the guarded, mysterious type, I knew you couldn't hold out against me for long!"

Edward sidestepped past Tamaki and started making his way over to the lunch room with Tamaki following him like a bad cough, "The what type?" He asked incredulously.

Tamaki elaborated on his statement, "The guarded, mysterious type. Rather fitting, don't you think? We would've done the loli-shota type for you, but Honey-senpai already has that title."

Edward grew very quiet. He was ready to start screaming at Tamaki about being the loli-shota type, but reminded himself he wasn't supposed to make himself stand out at the school otherwise he would give away his position.

_Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything. Don't say anything._ Edward repeated to himself over and over in his mind. _Just imagine it, but don't say anything._

The theater of Edward's mind: "WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN'T EVEN REACH THE DOOR HANDLE OF HIS HOUSE BECAUSE HE COULD BE THE LOLI-SHOTA TYPE!?"

"Um… Edward? Are you okay? You seem to be hyperventilating." Tamaki's voice awakened Ed from his thoughts. Ed forced a smile,

"I'm fine thanks."

Tamaki shrugged, "Whatever you say. In any case, I need you to know more about the host club, you see…"

All throughout lunch, Ed was forced to listen to Tamaki rant about pointless information. Mostly about being a gentlemen, and crap about making it all about the ladies. Edward mostly just tuned it all out as he finished his meal. The only time he listened was when Tamaki laid out all the meeting times. Edward would need to be there for all of them if he wanted to get as much information as possible.

"Yeah, thanks Tamaki, I should really be going now."

Tamaki paused and didn't reply straight away, Edward was about to ask if something was wrong when the older boy leapt up in a flash and began hugging the life out of a pissed Ed.

"You're so cute when you're all polite like that!" Tamaki squealed as Edward struggled in his grip.

"What the hell are you doing!? Get the f*** off me!" Ed screamed. The people in the cafeteria didn't seem to notice Tamaki or Ed, knowing it had all happened before.

Finally, Edward managed to get an arm free of Tamaki's bear hug and whipped out with it, connecting with Tamaki's face. Luckily, it was his left arm that was freed and not his right. His automail arm would've probably made a dent in Tamaki's skull, not that he couldn't lose any more brain cells then he already had, but why take the chance?

Tamaki fell on his butt and held the side of his face, pouting.

"Oh, come on. I didn't hit you _that_ hard. You're barely even going to get a bruise." Edward amended, standing over the older boy. Ed was still pissed Tamaki would leap up and just _hug_ him like that.

"Yes, but you've spoiled his good looks." A voice said behind Ed, making him jump and spin around. It was that guy with glasses. Kyoya, or something. The twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, were behind Kyoya.

"We don't think Tamaki has been punched in his whole life." The twin said together. "Except for maybe that time with Renge."

Edward bowed in apology to Kyoya, "I'm sorry I punched your friend, I acted without thinking."

The theater of Edward's mind: _That's the second time that idiot has pissed me off today! I really want to kill that guy. He's too freaking happy all the time! I'm starting to regret agreeing to this host club crap._

Kyoya just studied Edward with disdain, then pushed up his glasses and looked away, scribbling something down in what looked suspiciously like a death note. **(A/N: Couldn't resist, sorry.)**

Edward shot Tamaki a malicious glare and stalked out of the cafeteria, definitely not looking forward to after school that day. He bet the only people in Ouran with any common sense were the actual commoners.

Making his way to his next class, Ed realized he still had some time to kill before the bell rang, maybe he could ask some of the people wandering in the halls about the murderer to see if they knew anything.

He chose a random hall and started walking; trying to see if he could find anyone he could ask. Virtually, there was no one. The halls were nearly deserted. Everyone was either in the cafeteria or one of the open classrooms.

Sighing, Ed took another corner and stopped in his tracks. He heard something that made him stop in his tracks. A bloodcurdling scream.

**A/N: Is this even considered a cliffy? I'm so sorry it's so short, school started yesterday and I'm pretty sure you all know what that's like.**

**Anyway, this was a terrible chapter, I admit, but… the next one will be better! **

**Ed: You said that last time idiot.**

**Me: Sh-Shut up! I can write whatever I want!"**

**Ed: End this chapter already; I'm sick of talking to you.**

**Me: I SAID SHUT UP ED! AT LEAST I HAD THE HEART TO MAKE YOU THE MAIN CHARACTER IN THIS STORY!**

**Ed: …**

**Anyway, stay excellent guys, don't do drugs or commit suicide. Both are no-no's. I shall see you next Friday with the next chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: A hero

**Alrighty! Time to move on to the fourth chapter! **

**NOW! CHAPTER 4! AND, (even though it might be a little late) AS PROMISED, IT IS BETTER!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Well, actually, I do own some stuff, but not FMA or OHSHC. All that belongs to people who sadly, are not me. **

** Last time, on Escape to the Host Club!**

** Ed took another corner and heard something that made him stop in his tracks. A bloodcurdling scream.**

Reacting on instinct, Edward bolted down the corridor toward the source of the scream. For some reason, his thoughts were full of Alphonse. He took a second to, in that one moment before he remembered Al was safe in central, to regret everything he had done. Everything that had gone wrong. Though in the next moment, Ed shook the thought away. Al wasn't in Japan, and Ed had a mission to complete.

Rounding one last corridor, Edward finally found what he was running towards.

A tall guy, about a foot taller then Edward (much to his annoyance) had pinned a girl to the wall, holding her wrist in a hard grip.

"Just you and me now," The guy said, "C'mon, don't struggle, you know you want it." The guy grinned as tears welled up in the girl's eyes, and she tried to scream again, but this time he had clamped a hand over her mouth.

Edward reacted without thinking, charging at the other guy and landing a punch on his face. The other kid had loosened his grip on the girl and stumbled a little backwards, his hand immediately going up to his face where the mark had already started swelling.

"You little brat!" The guy spat, which only made Edward attack again.

Ed aimed a kick with his right leg at the guy's chest, feeling the bones crack under his foot. The guy screamed and retaliated with a swift punch. Edward tried to dodge, but it still connected just above his eye, splitting the skin and causing blood to run down in rivets down his face. Ed didn't let it faze him though, and swung his automail leg out under the kid and knocking his legs out from under him.

Giving a little gasp of surprise, the other kid fell to the ground, and Edward was on him in seconds. Reeling back with his automail fist, Ed slammed it into the other kid's face, thinking only of the danger the girl was in and hardly noticing the other guy's nose break under his automail.

Edward lunged out another time, and this time hitting the other guy's jaw.

Finally stopping, Ed leaned down and hissed in the guy's ear,

"If you think you can get away with something like that, you're wrong."

Edward stood and turned away from the kid, who lay on the ground for a few minutes, staring up at him in shock, then scrambling to his feet and taking off down the hall. It was only then that Edward realized the girl was still standing there staring at him with wide eyes.

"Did he hurt you?" Ed asked.

Without answering, the girl just shook her head and continued to stare at him. He raised a hand to his forehead and pulled it away, seeing red spotting his glove.

"Oh," Ed said, "I guess I look pretty beat up huh."

The girl didn't say anything, just stayed there and stared like she was some kind of statue.

"So… I guess I'll see you later." Ed concluded, and started walking down the hall to the bathroom to clean up a little bit.

He got to the door and went inside without looking back to check if the girl moved or not. He figured she would do what all girls did and go talk to the guy in charge.

Grabbing a piece of paper towel, Ed dabbed at his forehead as best as he could. Normally he wouldn't have cared whether people saw him with blood on his face, but this was school. And Ed was pretty sure you didn't walk around school with blood spattered all over your forehead.

The cut wasn't big, and had already started scabbing over. Ed cleaned it as best he could and checked out his glove. The fingertips were still stained red with blood, so he figured he would have to clean that up too.

Checking quickly to make sure none of the stalls were occupied, Edward took off his glove, revealing the cold, shiny metal of his right hand. He turned on the sink and ran the white material under the water.

A faint clicking sound made Edward jump, splashing water in his face in the process. Two voices he recognized sounded from the doorway, and he just had enough time to pull his glove out of the sink and hide his automail hand behind his back before the Hitachiin twins entered the bathroom.

"Oh, um. Hi guys." Edward greeted, internally cursing the two for showing up at the most inconvenient time possible.

The twins stopped in their tracks and cocked their head simultaneously.

"What's behind you're back?" They asked, taking a couple steps closer.

"Um, nothing." Edward started maneuvering himself around them, making his way closer to the door, "Anyway, I really got to go, I'll uh, see you guys in class!" Edward said, finally making it to the door and leaning against it to slide it open. "Bye!" And with that, Ed slid out of the bathroom and shot down the hall, thanking whatever god there was that the girl had left already.

Turning a corner, Ed quickly shoved his wet glove over his metal hand, taking a quick look around before quietly clapping his hands and placing his left hand over his right. Normally he would do this to create a blade from his arm, but this time he just dried the glove. If his hand wasn't made of metal, he would probably just leave it wet, but since Winry wasn't around Ed couldn't afford to let his automail rust.

The familiar bright flash of light came and went in seconds, and once his glove was dry, Ed briskly walked down the hall to his next class just as the bell rang.

"Did I see what I think I just saw Hikaru?" Kaoru asked his brother as they made their way to class the long way around.

"If you saw our friend Edward do some kind of lightning trick on his glove then you and I saw the same thing." Hikaru answered.

"Do you think he's into that whole black magic stuff like Nekozawa?"

"Nah, wouldn't black magic be more… black?"

"I guess so…"

"Well, whatever the case, Edward definitely has something that he isn't telling us."

The twins shrugged and made their way to their next class, they weren't really that curious about Edward. He had seemed pretty quiet, but it had never really seemed like he was _trying_ to hide something. They both figured Edward would tell them about it whenever. Freaking out about it would be something Tamaki would do.

But they were definitely suspicious.

In class Ed was surprised to see the twins seated on either side on him instead of Haruhi. It looked like Haruhi was surprised too, but she didn't say anything, so neither did Edward.

Through the rest of the day, Ed tried to listen to the lessons, but this time two forces seemed to be acting against him. Number one was that he knew all the things the teacher was saying, so that made it hard to act like he was interested. Number two was the heat of the constant stares on his back. The twins seemed to have taken a sudden interest in him, and were watching his every movement. Edward wasn't sure to be pissed or confused, so he decided on both. A pissed kind of confused.

When the bell finally sounded for the end of the day Ed really started to regret joining the host club. When he made his way down the hall to music room 3, he was stuck with the twins practically glued to his sides. He knew he shouldn't mind much because they _were _both going in the same direction, but it felt like the twins were purposely closing in on him.

Attempting to ignore them, Edward put his head down and charged forward, only stopping to look up once he reached the doors of the music room.

"Jeez, this mission is more trouble then its worth." Edward muttered, putting his hand on the door handle.

"What did you say?"

Ed jumped as the twins voices sounded on either side of him. He didn't think the twins were _still_ there.

"Oh, uh… Nothing." Ed said quickly, pushing the door open and quickly stepping inside before the twins could ask him anything else.

He was greeted by Tamaki in a medieval king's costume, along with Kyoya, Mori and Honey in similar fancy costumes.

"Were you guy's playing dress up or what?" Edward asked dryly, still pissed that the twins _would not stop following him._

Kyoya spoke up, though not bothering to take his eyes off his clipboard. "As a host club, our number one priority is to entertain our guests. Occasionally, we have a theme in play that works to our advantage."

Edward's eyebrow twitched, "So, what, do I have to dress up like a hobo too?"

"Well of course!" Tamaki exclaimed, "You _are _part of the host club now."

Haruhi walked in behind Edward and was immediately given a costume. She sighed and headed toward the dressing room without any protests; she gave Ed a look that said _you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into,_ and closed the door behind her.

Edward cursed inwardly and the twins both grabbed their costumes and both went into another one of the empty rooms together.

"They even change clothes together?" Edward asked offhandedly, but he only got a small grunt from Mori as an answer.

Without warning, Tamaki shoved a costume into Ed's arms and began driving him towards the only other empty change room.

"What? I don't want to wear this!" Edward protested, as Tamaki pushed him closer to the door.

"Host club hours start in ten minutes, since you're officially part of the club you have to wear club attire." Tamaki reasoned, opening the door for Edward and coming inside.

"Come on, you have to change, you _are _a host after all."

"Fine, I'll change, but you have to _get out_!" Edward said, promptly kicking Tamaki out of the change room and slamming the door in his face. Jeez, what was with these people and changing together? If Tamaki saw his automail…

Edward held up the costume at arms length and got a good look at it. It wasn't really that bad. It looked somewhat like peasant's clothing, with cotton pants and shirt, as well as some kind of vest overcoat and leather boots. Shrugging, Edward pulled off his blue blazer and started unbuttoning his undershirt, pausing when he heard his name faintly through the door. Furrowing his brow, Edward pressed his ear to the door and listened hard, making out a few voices.

"Well, I guess that _would _explain the long hair."

"And the height."

"Yeah, but we can't really know for sure…"

"Hey, why don't we just use the boss again?"

"What? No!"

"C'mon, you did it to Haruhi, it shouldn't be that different for another one. You're a pervert anyway, it shouldn't matter."

"I AM NOT A PERVERT YOU JERKS!"

Edward, being Edward, had no idea what they were talking about, so he simply shrugged and continued to change. Little did he know, the hosts club's conversation was reaching a climax outside…

Tamaki was red in the face as he refused once again, "No way! If you're right, and Edward has a secret like Haruhi, I am _not_ walking in on him while he's changing!"

The twins shared a glance and looked back at Tamaki, "Well, _we're_ not going to do it, we aren't a pervert like you."

"I AM NOT A PERVERT!"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up his nose a fraction and spoke calmly, "Well I for one am certainly curious as to our new friend's gender."

Honey talked through a mouthful of cake, "Edo-chan does have really long hair, and he's about Haru-chan's height, so…"

"Yeah, but the name _Edward_ is a boy name isn't it?" Tamaki countered.

Haruhi had finished changing into her own peasant clothes and reasoned with them, "Oh, come on guys, does it really matter whether Edward is a boy or a girl?"

The twins shrugged, "When we walked in on him in the bathroom he seemed really surprised, and he also kicked Tamaki out of the change room. We think we should know."

Tamaki panicked a little, worried at where the conversation was going, "Well, if we are going to do this, we all have to do it together."

"Fine," The twins chorused, while Kyoya just made his way to the opposite side of the room to watch from a safe distance, Haruhi full out refused, and Honey and Mori just sat at one of the tables, clearly withdrawing from the conversation.

Tamaki and the twins all put their hands on the door handle and hesitated.

"On three." Hikaru said hesitantly, "One… two… three!"

They all swung open the door and physically froze at what they saw.

Edward had the peasant pants on and was holding the shirt in his hands, staring at the three in surprise.

Now I'm sure, as a reader, you know what this means. Since Edward was holding the peasant shirt in his hands, that left him topless, and so, ladies and gentlemen, it left his right arm open for viewing.

There was silence, and though Ed wanted too, it would do no good to quickly pull his shirt on to hide his automail, it had already been seen. Even the hosts outside of the doorway were staring in shock.

The silence was broken when Tamaki said weakly,

"Yeah, definitely not a girl."

**A/N: Heh heh, yeeaaah, sorry this one is late… I was really busy and couldn't get to my computer until Friday so…**

** Ed: YOU A**HOLE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO UPLOAD THIS TWO F***ING DAYS AGO YOU IDIOT!**

** Me: Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!**

** Ed: *Begins hitting with alchemy book* YOU HAD BETTER BE SORRY!**

** Me: *Somehow blocks the alchemy book with my non-existent ninja awesomeness* Okay, that's all the time I have for today! I have to quickly get started on the next chappy so I don't fall behind again! No! Edward! Don't hit my computer!**

** Ed: *In a fit of rage breaks my computer.* **

** Me: … FU-**

** Anyway, stay excellent guys! Don't do drugs or skip school! And I shall see you next Friday!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**I FIXED MY COMPUTER!**

**As the more observant group of you will notice, there is no title for chapter five. Now, the more complex thinkers will probably consider that I have a very good reason for not titling this chapter, but in reality, I was just really lazy and I couldn't think of anything off the top of my head as I did with the other chapters. So, in result, this chapter remains nameless.**

** In any case, I have written the 5****th**** chapter, and since you probably want to read it (the smarter people have probably already skipped over this pointless authors note) so without further ado, THE FIFTH CHAPTER!**

** Disclaimer: If I owned FMA or OHSHC, I would probably get a different voice actor for Renge because she reminds me too much of May, make Envy a little more masculine because I can't place a gender defining pronoun upon him, and I would actually make an episode where FMA meets the Host Club.**

Edward was having a really bad day.

First he joined the host club; beat up some potential rapist, and now his secret had been put in the spotlight. As much as the colonel ticked him off, he had still just disobeyed a direct order. So now, seated on a couch sitting across from many curious rich kids, Edward's day had just nosedived.

They at least let him put his shirt back on; it would've been awkward for Edward to be shirtless in front of six guys and a girl.

The silenced stretched onward, and the host club spent their time staring curiously at Edward, while in return, Edward glared at them.

"I think you have some explaining to do, Edward." Kyoya said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I think you do to." Edward shot back, "Who the hell opens the door when someone is changing?"

"We were trying to find out if you were a girl or not!" Tamaki blurted out, earning a few glares from his fellow hosts.

"You thought I was a f***ing _girl_?" Ed was honestly too shocked to be angry, no one at the military had ever mistaken him for a girl, so he didn't see why it should be any different if he moved to a different country.

The twins leaned back in the couch, "Yeah, but it turns out you're just a very feminine man, which isn't good for melodramatic purposes at all."

Choosing (though it was intensely difficult) to ignore the twins, Edward simply glared and crossed his arms.

Kyoya pushed his glasses a little farther up his nose and asked,

"So Edward, I think the real question isn't to your gender any longer, but as to why your arm appears to be metal."

_Think Ed, think! All you need is a story!_

Sighing, Ed knew he had no way out of this, and he couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't go against the colonel's orders.

"In my country, we have the technology to make prosthetic limbs that respond to the nerves in the brain." _We can also use alchemy, and I have a brother without a body, and right now I'm on a mission here from Amestris to find a murderer who seems to enjoy slaughtering the wealthy… _Ed could think of many more things to say, but his life was none of these rich kids business. The only thing he had to tell them was about his automail, and he wanted to keep it that way.

Kyoya looked thoughtful and started scribbling something down in his black ledger.

The twins' eyes widened with awe,

"Did it hurt?" They asked in sync.

"Um, yeah." Edward replied, not exactly liking where this conversation was going.

Tamaki suddenly looked interested, "So, this must explain his mysterious demeanor, he has a metal arm that he wishes to keep secret and must go through all the pain of having a restored limb and not speak of it, oh Edward, the agony you must have been through." Ed could've sworn Tamaki was crying.

"Hey, it isn't that big of a deal." Edward said, wishing Tamaki wouldn't keep going on about it.

Of course, Kyoya got straight to the point, "Tell me Edward, how did you lose your original arm? Was it recent?"

Spared from having to answer, Edward's phone suddenly vibrated in his pocket. "Oh, sorry, I'd better take this call."

Standing and moving a few steps from the couch to create an illusion of privacy, Edward flipped the phone open and put it to his ear.

"What?"

_"Fullmetal, you know I don't speak Japanese."_

Hastily switching to Amestrain, Ed repeated the question.

_"Have you gotten any leads on the murderer?"_

"No, get off my back."

Out of the corner of his eye, Ed saw the faces of the host club written with confusion. Obviously they didn't know Amestrain.

_"Honestly Fullmetal, I would think that as a state alchemist you would be able to find and capture the target before now."_

"Shut up Colonel, like you could do better."

_"I think I could."_

Edward didn't answer, waiting until Mustang said something else.

He heard a sigh on the other line, and a bit of muffled talking, like Mustang was holding the phone away from him. Finally, he came back on,

_"Alright, I don't want you to get swayed from your mission pipsqueak, but you're brother wants to talk to you."_

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK BEANSPROUT MIDGET!? IT'S YOU'RE FAULT I'M IN THIS STUPID CLUB!"

_"Brother, he didn't say all that."_

Realizing it was his brother, Ed quickly went out of rage mode, "Al? Are you okay? How are you doing? Has the Colonel made you do anything stupid for his own enjoyment?"

_"I'm fine brother." _

Normally his voice would have an underlying amused tone to it, but now his voice was harder, firmer. It made Ed a little worried.

"Hey, Al? Are you feeling okay?"

_"Yeah, you always worry too much."_

This time Al's voice was coated in a thin sheet of fake happiness, only making Ed more worried.

"Al… are you…?" Ed broke off. He wanted to know if Al was still angry with him. If Al still wanted Edward away from him.

_"I have to go now brother. I'll see you after you finish you're mission. Be careful, okay?"_

Edward took in a shaky breath. The more he talked to Al, the more he missed him.

"Okay." Edward forced his voice to sound happy, though it was a little hard when his heart was aching inside his chest.

Muttering a small "bye" Ed closed the phone and slid it back into his pocket, turning back to the host club. They were all watching him with wide eyes, well, except Mori. Nothing fazed him.

"You never told us you spoke another language." The twins commented.

Ed shrugged, "I speak a couple."

"Really? Which ones?"

Kyoya cut Edward's answer off, "That isn't important right now. Edward, you were going to tell us how you lost your ar-"

Kyoya stopped when he realized Mori had opened the host club doors and countless girls flooded into the room.

Edward mentally thanked Mori for saving him and followed the host club as they got into position and welcomed the ladies into the club.

Tamaki was a natural, he practically swept the girls into his arms. The girls seemed to enjoy being fawned over, getting all doe-eyed at his every word. Ed was afraid they'd start crying, but all they did was sigh and giggle. Jeez, Tamaki had them hooked.

"We also have a new host today," Tamaki announced, "Please welcome Edward Elric, the new transfer student to our school."

Suddenly all eyes were turned on him. So, reacting on instinct, he glared back at them, his eyes glowing pits of gold.

To his surprise, the girls all sighed in longing, and a few started giggling nervously. Edward was a little confused, he was terrible with girls. The only ones he had really met was Winry, Rose, and others in the military about twenty years older than him.

In the next few minutes, he was sat down in front of three girls, all staring at him expectantly.

"So Edward, what made you come to Japan?" One of them asked.

Edward just went with the story Mustang gave him, "Well my uh… foster dad sent me over here to get some travel experience, I didn't really get out much when I was living with him."

Another girl, one that Ed thought he might've seen somewhere before started talking, "Did you're foster father come with you to Japan?"

"Um, yeah." No one needed to know he was living by himself.

"What happened to your real parents, Edward?"

Jeez, these rich kids really had no sense of privacy. No way was he going to tell him his mom died and his dad walked out on him and his brother. Just no.

Edward looked away, "I'd… rather not say."

Since Edward was Edward, he didn't know why the three girls had tears in their eyes. Everyone had their own problems, why try to deal with someone else's?

After many more awkward moments and unnecessary dialogue, the Host Club had closed and Edward still hadn't made any progress. The girls were too oblivious to tell him anything but rumors that they heard from their friends who heard it from their friends and so on.

Ed changed out of his stupid costume and stepped out of the change room, going over to the high arched window for lack of anything else to do.

As he was watching the fountain outside, Ed felt a pair of eyes staring at him from behind. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Kyoya staring at him with zero emotion, but Ed knew Kyoya was on to him, even without being able to know what he was thinking.

Ed still hadn't told him how he lost his arm.

Thank whatever god there was out there that Kyoya didn't know about his leg. It would just cause even more awkward confusion.

Shrugging Kyoya out of his mind, Edward turned back to the window, checking out the roses outside and getting lost in his thoughts. As though his mind wanted to play some kind of joke on him, he found himself being brought back to the day that made him come to Japan.

It had been after the incident in lab 5. Edward had fixed Al's armor up and Al had finally accepted that Ed hadn't just created him. That Ed hadn't just fabricated his memories and had Winry and Pinako in on it too.

But somehow… tension still remained between Ed and Al. It was like their former bond had gone through some kind of change. A change for the worse.

The two brothers were staying in one of the military dorms when it happened.

Edward wasn't sure what he had done. Maybe he said something wrong. Or maybe it was just something that he did. But Al got angry.

Really angry.

So, in return, Ed got angry too.

They had a yelling match, about what Ed couldn't even remember, but it was the one time he and his brother had really gotten ticked at each other. It was the first time they had ever actually _screamed _at each other. Ed and Al had always stuck together as kids, and when they committed human transmutation, their bond grew even stronger.

But this was different.

It was like every single thing about each other they disapproved of came out in a huge torrent, sweeping away the closeness between the brothers.

Or at least most of it.

A part of Ed was screaming at him to end the fight, so he did. By storming out the door and demanding to get out of the country. It was what Al wanted after all.

Although Ed didn't remember most of what they had said to each other, the words that Al had yelled after him once he left never ceased to erase from his brain,

"This is all your fault brother! The reason why I'm trapped in this body, the reason why mom had to die a second time! It's all because of you and your stupid vision that everything can go back to normal! Real brothers-"

Edward didn't hear any more. He had already slammed the door.

**A/N: Jeez, these things seem to get updated later and later…**

** Ed: YOU WAITED FOUR DAYS THIS TIME YOU IDIOT! *Begins punching repeatedly***

** Me: Ow, ow, OW! Stop it Ed! It isn't like you ever hand in your reports on time either!**

** Ed: *Keeps punching***

** Me: Hey, but -ouch- you have to give me -ow- some slack. WILL YOU STOP THAT!? Some authors on fanfiction wait MONTHS until they upload. (trust me, I know) so now, I feel like you all deserved this.**

** Ed: What about ME! I was stuck without a shirt in an OPEN CHANGE ROOM FOR OVER A WEEK!**

** Me: Edward, you know that there is more important people in this world than yourself. Like me for example. Since I am currently the author of this particular story, I have the power to make you do whatever I want. Seeing as currently, you are now a monkey.**

** Ed: *poofed into a monkey* What the ! #$%^& #!$% #$!% $$!# #!**

** Me: Due to Edward's potty mouth, I'm going to have to poof him out of here.**

** Ed: *Poof***

** Me: Anyway, some notifications for those of you already bored out of your minds by this authors note.**

** I'm thinking I'm going to end this fanfic in a few chapters. Sad, I know, but I'm thinking of starting an FMAB game show after this. Remember to review and give me ideas!**

** Anyway, stay excellent guys, don't do anything stupid with your lives (you only get one) and I will see you HOPEFULLY next Friday!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

**Yes, I was being lazy again so this chapter doesn't have a title.**

** Anyway, I got a review the other day from… TruthsApprentice? Anyway, I heard you and your friends are going to a convention as the host club. GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE! As it so happens, me and MY friends are going as the host club as well to a convention! I'm being Haruhi, half because I look a little like her, and half because she's probably the easiest character to role-play as.**

** ANYWAY! Off the topic of cosplay and onto chapter 6!**

** Disclaimer: I can't think of anything awesome for a disclaimer right now so… yeah. I think I've made it pretty obvious before that I don't own anything, but just for those of you who decided to skip to chapter 6 without reading any of the previous chapters, I'll do one just for you. I DON'T OWN FMA/OHSHC!**

"Are you admiring the roses?" Kyoya's voice snapped Edward out of his daze.

Ed blinked, only for the first time noticing the red roses positioned outside the arched window.

"Um, yeah." Kyoya didn't need to know what Ed was thinking about.

Ed felt Kyoya had a strange feel about him, or at least in Edward's mind. It was like everything Kyoya said or did was controlled and pre-planned. Ed bet that if a meteor hit the school in some kind of spontaneous event, Kyoya would just keep writing in his ledger, acting like he had planned the whole thing.

"I know there's something about you Edward." Kyoya said without looking at him. It sent chills down Ed's spine.

"Something I _will _find out." With that, Kyoya walked back to the center of the room to talk to Tamaki about some crap.

Edward let out a shaky breath and turned back to the window, he didn't know much about Kyoya, but Ed knew he had his ways of getting information.

Out of the corner of his eye, Edward spotted movement, somehow sharpening his senses.

It was only for a brief moment, but Ed knew he saw something canine… or feline. He recalled Mustang telling him nearly a week ago that his mission was to track down a chimera. Human fused with cougar.

What the person had been fused with didn't matter to him right then though, because he knew where it was headed.

Inside the school.

Edward swore under his breath and turned away from the window. If he could somehow lead the chimera out of the school before it attacked anyone, he could save lives and complete his mission all in one.

He quickly pulled away from the window, calling some lame excuse over his shoulder to the club about having a lot of homework.

Ed didn't bother to listen to Tamaki's reply as he burst out the doors and shot down the hall. Thankful he knew the school well enough to judge where the chimera would be.

_Don't worry Al,_ Edward thought briefly, _I'll be home soon._

Tamaki frowned; Edward forgot to take his school bag, which led him to wonder how Edward supposed he would get his homework done.

Haruhi had come up behind Tamaki and picked Edward's bag up off the ground.

"That's weird," She muttered.

Tamaki turned around, "What?"

Haruhi held Edward's bag up. "It's empty."

The twins positioned themselves on either side of Haruhi and peered over her shoulders, looking into Ed's bag. They shrugged at the same time,

"She's right boss."

Indulging in a sudden change of character, Tamaki looked genuinely concerned. "But… Edward said he was going to do homework… and he can't do that without his bag or his work…"

"That is, unless our friend Edward wasn't being entirely truthful." Kyoya had joined the conversation, his face blank other then his usual careful thoughtfulness.

"Edo-chan was lying to us?" Honey asked; his brown eyes wide.

Mori said nothing, but a little confusion flickered in his eyes.

Haruhi looked puzzled, "It _did_ seem like he was a little secretive…"

The twins both thought out loud, "He has a metal arm, there's definitely some backstory involved."

Tamaki looked deep in thought, like he was putting together pieces of a puzzle in his brain,

"I have it!" He exclaimed, "Edward must be some kind of advanced human being sent from the future to explain to us the mistakes we will make to the earths downfall!"

In return, he got a few raised eyebrows and questionable gazes from most of the hosts.

"Senpai," Haruhi said, "I don't think that's very logical."

As Tamaki went to go sulk in his corner of shame for two minutes and forty three seconds, the rest of the hosts discussed what to do next.

"So, if Ed was lying to us, then what did he really run out to do?" Haruhi wondered.

"It seems we can only find out by doing." Kyoya stated.

"You mean we're going to follow Edward? What if he just had to go the bathroom or something?" The twins asked.

Kyoya only showed his irritation in the clench of his jaw, but otherwise remained expressionless,

"If Edward had to use the washrooms, he wouldn't have had to lie about such a trivial thing."

Tamaki, now out of his corner of gloom, quickly took charge by commencing "Find-out-what-Edward-is-up-to" operation.

"First, we figure out where he went."

Edward was running down the hallway, judging by his speed, the approximate speed of the chimera, and the distance from each other, Ed could easily map out in his head the approximate location of the chimera, and where it would go down.

Although, like almost everything, a wrench was expertly thrown into his plans. **(A/N: I'm not intentionally making a Winry reference.)**

A hand suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him aside so fast he hardly had any time to react. He was thrown up against the wall and hit his head a little too hard, messing up his vision a little.

When his eyesight finally cleared, he finally made out the person in front of him.

Her hair was long and curly, black, but with a few brown highlights. Recognition hit Edward like a slap; it was the girl Edward had been sitting with, as well as the girl he had saved from that guy. He didn't have time to think about the connection, for the girl had started speaking,

"You know," She said in an oddly sweet voice, "I never got to thank you, for earlier today."

"Um, no problem," Ed replied, moving to the side in an attempt to get around the girl. She moved as well, mirroring his movements, keeping him backed up against the wall.

Edward frowned, "If you don't mind, I'm a little busy right now."

She ignored him, "You know, I never realized what an unnatural eye color you have." She inched closer to him, if that was even possible, and laid a hand on his shoulder. She started talking slowly, her voice smooth, like honey.

"Why don't you and I have a little fun together? You know you want me, that's why you saved me from the other one in the first place. Men are so predictable."

Actually, Ed just saved her because she looked like she needed to be saved.

Edward started to inwardly panic, the chimera could be getting ever closer to a student. Finding this school must've been the jackpot for him.

"Look, I really don't have time for this right now," He said, "I _really_ have to be somewhere."

If she heard the urgency in his voice, she chose to ignore it.

"You know," she said, tracing a finger up the front of Edward's uniform, "People say it's only against the law if they don't like it. I certainly didn't like it with that other boy, but _you_… I think I could make an exception."

"I feel like we aren't even in the same conversation anymore." Edward deadpanned, brushing off her hand, "I really have to go, so if you'll excuse me."

Grabbing her by the wrists, Edward pushed her as gently as he could to the side and turned to go. Before he would leave though, he felt her hand grab his wrist.

"I'll be waiting." She said, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

Edward didn't answer and bolted down the corridor. Normally, he would be a little more freaked out, but he had more important things on his mind then some girl. People's _lives_ were in danger.

Since he had a hold up, he only had a vague thought of where the chimera might be, but he would have to take his chances.

Since club hours had just ended, there were a few people milling about the school, mostly just packing up their bags and heading for the doors.

The doors.

Of course! That would be the best place to camp out for the chimera. He could just wait, hiding, outside the front doors, and when the big crowd came and went, he would pick off one or two stragglers at the back. No muss, no fuss.

Swearing under his breath, Edward pushed his legs faster and shot toward the front doors at his maximum speed.

He could already see a few people exiting the school early. Pushing them aside roughly, Edward burst out through the doors and stopped, breathing hard. Adrenaline was pumping through his veins now, and he was all ready for the fight.

Allowing himself a grand total of three point two five seconds to catch his breath, Edward narrowed his eyes and began to sweep the area with them.

Nothing.

Was he wrong? Could the chimera already be inside the school?

No.

Edward caught movement.

Ed shot forward, planning on making it quick and easy. Weaving in between a few rosebushes, Edward caught up to his target easily, planting a hand on his neck and slamming him up against a tree.

It was only then that he finally recognized who he had just attacked. The idiot blonde.

Tamaki.

Surprised, Edward loosened his hold and let Tamaki drop to the ground. Tamaki doubled over on his hands and knees and started breathing hard, his breath coming out in harsh rasps.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Edward asked, more surprised then angry.

Tamaki held up something in his hand, "You… forgot… your school bag…"

Edward widened his eyes, then got ahold of himself, "Idiot," He muttered under his breath, "I really don't have time for this right now."

Tamaki was too busy gasping for breath to ask what Ed was _really _doing.

Ed turned and was about to make his way toward the school to restart the search for the chimera, when something huge and heavy hit him from the side.

Reacting on instinct, Ed rolled with the impact and used his momentum to kick the thing off of him.

It growled.

_Chimera_. Edward thought to himself, getting into a battle position.

"Tamaki." Edward said, as calmly as he could, "Get out of here. Now."

"What?"

"_Just do it!_"

Tamaki started at the urgency in Edward's voice, but annoyingly stayed where he was.

"Edward," He said slowly, "What's going on?"

"Just shut up and run dammit!"

Tamaki, of course, didn't do anything.

Edward muttered "fine" and turned his attention back to the chimera.

He was in full cougar form now, although the slight traits of human still showed. His eyes were still human, and though his pupils were dilated Ed could still see a trace of his iris. His paws were too large, and oddly shaped, like they were still at a cross between fingers and paws.

The chimera growled and leaped, throwing its claws out in front of him.

Ed reacted immediately; he swerved to the side and landed a hard blow on the chimera's flank, making the cougar stumble as it hit the ground.

Clapping his hands together quickly, Ed created a blade from his arm and narrowed his eyes as the chimera got to his feet.

The cougar growled something that sounded slightly like "Amestrain." It must've noticed Edward's automail.

With a bark, the chimera began to slowly reform into a human, grunting noises of pain.

Seeing his chance, Edward ran at the chimera, throwing his fist out at the chimera's ribcage.

Even though he was morphing, the chimera was still fast, and dodged to the side.

He had completed his transformation, and though he looked relatively human, his fingernails still looked a little too much like claws.

The chimera grinned, his teeth too sharp for humans, and Edward realized the chimera was no longer focusing on him. He was looking a Tamaki, still sitting there like an idiot.

"Tamaki! Run!" Edward screamed as the chimera launched himself at Tamaki. Ed knew he wouldn't get to Tamaki in time, and Tamaki didn't look like he was going to move. The idiot blonde was done for.

That was when a flash of powdery blue blurred across Ed's vision, and the chimera went flying backwards into a tree.

"Remember creepy guy! Picking on my friends is a big no-no!" Edward was surprised to find Honey standing in front of Tamaki, with his arm out and shaking his finger. Mori was beside him; just… standing there like Mori seems to do.

"Are you okay senpai?" Ed whipped around and saw Haruhi running across the field toward Tamaki, with the twins and Kyoya on her tail.

Edward was dumbfounded, what the hell was the host club doing there?

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he saw the chimera slowly raising himself up from the tree.

Quickly getting into a battle stance, Edward pushed his thoughts of the host club out of his mind.

There was a battle to fight.

**A/N: You know, I feel like I could do a lot better with these chapters… Maybe once I'm done this fanfic I'll go back and edit, but who knows.**

** Yes, I know I don't really reply to reviews, but be rest assured that I read EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. And I will tell all of you thank you for your feedback and complements! All your reviews are awesome.**

** Anyway, yes, I am a day late, but it isn't as bad as the last chapter. **

** Ed: Yeah, but I was still stuck in a flashback for four days.**

** Me: Shut up Ed, no one cares about your input.**

** Ed: *Grumble***

** Me: Anyway, stay excellent you guys and I can't think of anything clever to write so, SEE YOU!**

** Remember to review and give me new ideas for my FMA game show fanfic that has yet to be written!**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

** I'MSOFREAKINGLATEFORTHISI'MREALLYSORRY!**

** Recap: Edward ran into a stupid girl who encountered a dramatic change of character. Then he found the chimera while Tamaki was sitting around like an idiot and then the host club came in and saved the day. If this doesn't make any sense you should probably go back and read the other chapters.**

** ANYWAY! I love all of your reviews! Thank you so much! Tell me if I'm wrong, but I don't think it's possible to directly reply to a review without PMing someone.**

** Oh yeah, I just read "An Alchemist at Ouran" and yes, my story is a lot like that one. I'm not going to hate on it or anything because technically, they posted first. So, really, I have no right. Anyway, I think I'll continue with my story, and I'm sorry if the two are similar, but you're just going to have to deal. Also, *spoilers* Edward doesn't go to Xing in mine. (You guys should read that fanfic though, it's pretty awesome)**

**Disclaimer: OHSHC + FMA/FMAB = NOT MINE**

Edward narrowed his eyes; the chimera was huge, over twice his size and weight. Ed didn't let that bother him though. All that mattered was the fight.

The chimera leaped, heading straight for Ed.

Edward dodged quickly and let the chimera fly by him. It was turning as it landed, so as soon as it hit the ground it was in the air again, this time meeting his target. The chimera knocked Ed to the ground, and Ed began to fight back.

The cougar leaned down and growled in Edward's ear:

"You first, _alchemist._"

The chimera practically spat the last word before rearing up to start tearing into Edward with all his strength. Ed raised his automail arm as his only defense, but just as the chimera was about to strike, Edward found the cougar's weight suddenly lifted off him.

Sitting up he saw that Mori had dealt a powerful kick to the chimera's side, causing it to lurch to the left off of Edward.

Mori's face remained impassive but as he lowered his foot, Ed thought he saw a small glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

Honey simply cheered, "Picking on my friends is a big no-no!"

Ed didn't understand how anyone could make beating up a half human half cougar adorable, but Honey seemed to pull it off with ease.

Edward's attention was switched back to the chimera as it slowly picked itself up from the ground, newfound rage shining in his eyes. With one swift movement, it reared back its head and let out a low howl. Ed was confused; he didn't think cougars _could_ howl, he thought that was reserved for wolves and other canines.

Nonetheless, whatever effect the chimera was going for worked, and his howl was joined by another, and another, and another.

Pretty soon there were over a dozen unseen animals all letting out the same yowl all over the school grounds. Thankfully, all the students had already left for their houses; Edward felt a small wave of relief attempt to swallow his anxiety for a moment, he didn't want any of the students to loose their lives to his fight. It was bad enough the entire host club was there, he didn't need any other extra bodies.

Honey and Mori were definitely capable of handling themselves; he had heard the cousins were masters in martial arts and kendo, and seeing it in person only showed just how powerful they were.

The twins knew that when Honey and Mori were concerned, all they had to do was lay low and wait a few seconds until the fight was over, though this kind of circumstance was different. The twins, Haruhi, Kyoya and a dazed Tamaki all wore worried, frightened, and confused expressions on their faces. It was harder to run away this time when the howls of cougars were coming from all sides, cutting off all exits.

A trap. Ed should've known. The chimera was too smart to just attack Edward head on and not have some kind of backup plan. After all, the cougar had recently escaped from prison and must've known the unique abilities of the state alchemists.

The chimera's howl died down and he brought his hard gaze back down to the hosts and Edward, a sneer smeared across his face, distorting his features.

Ed bit his lip, this was going to be harder then he thought. The only capable fighters of the host club were Honey, Mori, and himself, the four others might have _some_ skill-if any-but otherwise they were currently extra baggage.

Edward didn't have any other time to think about a battle strategy where all seven of them came out alive, as the chimera and all its "friends" attacked as one. Moving like a well-oiled machine.

The main chimera went headfirst for Edward, flying at him with claws extended and teeth bared. At the same time others leaped out of the cover of the trees and launched themselves at the rest of the hosts.

Edward blocked easily in the first attack, but the chimera had the advantage of speed on its side. It retaliated immediately and swiped again, catching Edward on the side of the head before Ed could retaliate. Edward felt warm blood trickle down his head and threaten to seep into his eye, blinking it away irritably, he went on the offense, clapping his hands and slamming them down on the ground. He watched as a fist of dirt erupted from the perfectly trimmed soil and whipped the chimera across the courtyard with one hit.

Edward allowed himself a small break to smile to himself; it felt good to use alchemy again, to feel that familiar buzz resonate through his body. Edward didn't know how he had survived so long while hardly using it.

Glancing back quickly, Edward checked on how the others were doing.

Honey and Mori were doing a good job of holding the cougars back from the rest of the group, but it went slower than it would have. Ed could tell honey and Mori were more used to fighting other people, as their punches and kicks were aimed in the wrong places, so what would've been a fatal blow either didn't do much or missed entirely.

Ed didn't have time to consider running over and helping them, as the thundering of footfalls made him aware of a much ticked chimera charging toward him.

Gritting his teeth, Edward whirled around and delivered a blow to the chimera's face as it leaped in mid-air, sending it back down to the ground again with a dull thump.

The chimera was resilient though, as it leaped back up and charged again.

Once he got his mind back in focus, Ed could easily spot the huge openings the chimera left as it was attacking. All it seemed to know how to do was run head on and try to attack as best it could. Granted, it could dodge plenty of Ed's attacks, but not all of them.

One could easily tell how enraged the cougar was, it was practically frothing at the mouth.

"You will never understand _alchemist_." It growled, licking the blood off its nose. "You could never even _comprehend_ the secrets your country is hiding from you."

Edward faltered a little, he didn't expect the cougar to say that, much less make some form of conversation.

"Oh yeah?" Edward taunted, trying to keep a confident air about him, "How would you know? You've spent the last few years in prison."

The cougar made a short wheezing sound, and Edward realized it was laughing.

"I was put in that pit for ten years because of the things I endured, and the things I accomplished."

Ed wouldn't admit it out loud, but the chimera had him curious. He stayed in a tense battle stance as the chimera continued,

"You must already know of the hierarchy that's become our every-day life. The rich do to the poor whatever they wish to do and the poor have to endure it in silence because of their rank."

Edward frowned, "That isn't true." He argued, "All people aren't that cruel."

The cougar's face twisted into a snarl, "The age we live in now is much crueler than you may think."

The chimera leaped without warning, shouting words as it hammered its way over to Edward.

"I was experimented on!" It screeched, "I was treated like a lab rat!"

The chimera launched itself wildly at Ed, knocking him down with more force then Edward thought possible.

"I was put in jail for ten years, for something I didn't do!"

It began clawing frantically, ripping long tears in Edward's jacket. It was all Ed could do to raise his arms in front of his face to protect himself. The wildness in the cougar's movements slowed, and Edward heard a the chimera's voice whisper right next to his ear,

"So then I thought: Why not just kill all the rich? That way the poor don't have to suffer."

Edward quickly thought of a plan as the chimera continued on its insane explanation,

"It would be a world where no one is experimented on! It would e a world of equals! No one would have to die!"

With one fluid movement, Edward grabbed the cougar's head with his right hand and twisted to push the cougar off him. In seconds he was on his feet again, and throwing a punch at the chimera's head.

"You think you can solve the world's problems by killing people?" Edward raised his voice, not even bothering to contain his anger,

"You think you can make everyone equal by destroying rich families? By taking innocent people's lives?"

Edward roundhouse kicked the chimera in the face, sending it rearing backward.

"Those people _are dead_ because you had some fake truth in your mind that you could make everything better!"

The chimera was shifting into human form now, but Edward didn't wait for it, clenching his two fists together and bringing it down hard against the chimera's back.

"Maybe the rich often are ignorant, and weak, and get stupid ideas in their head that only lead to others getting hurt!"

Edward brought down his right hand, making a shallow gash along the cougar's flank,

"And maybe you're right, and Amestris has secrets buried deep! But that gives you no right to _take other's lives!_"

With one last final punch, the chimera was unconscious, still a cross between cougar and human. Still with that insane look in his eyes. Still a murderer.

Taking a few breaths to steady his racing heart, Edward quickly took a glance behind him to see that Honey and Mori had successfully taken out the other cougars, the rest of the hosts congratulating them.

Edward smiled; at least these guys never seemed to change. It might've just been stupid rich people ignorance, or maybe the host club was actually stronger than they portrayed themselves to be, but it seemed like the seven hosts were like a big family. They looked out for each other. No matter what. Edward felt the familiar pang in his heart when he thought about his own family, but it was quickly matched by a feeling of satisfaction mixed with maybe a little bit of affection. He had come this far, and he would keep going.

Ed was snapped out of his musings as he heard someone slowly clapping from behind him. Turning, he saw Colonel Mustang and his ever-present shadow Riza emerging from the neatly cropped trees.

Edward's eyes widened, "C-colonel? What the hell are you doing here?"

Roy used his trademark smirk and replied casually,

"Since you were taking too long for my standards in this mission the lieutenant and I decided to come and help you, but you seem to be one step ahead this time around. Although it really shouldn't have taken this long for you to find your chimera and detain it, or do you wear that watch of yours just to complete your distorted fashion statement?"

Not even a minute, and the colonel was already pissing a certain short tempered alchemist off.

"Well I _would've _had more time to look if you didn't make me go to this stupid school!"

The colonel just half-smiled and turned his head to the side observing Edward's friends with a look of mild interest.

"It seems you've made some friends Fullmetal."

Edward gritted his teeth, how could that colonel take this all without any confusion whatsoever? He was so. Freaking. Irritating.

Before Edward could launch into a full fledged one-sided yelling match, the host had walked up behind him.

They were all looking shocked and more than a little confused, but still somehow managed to formally introduce themselves.

The colonel returned the formality in surprisingly fluent Japanese, then turned back to the chimera,

"We should probably take this back to Amestris. Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Yes sir."

The lieutenant turned stiffly and began calling for a clean up team, making sure the chimera was secure before watching over it cautiously.

A tap on the shoulder made Edward turn, and he realized Kyoya was staring at him expectantly.

"What?"

"Edward, who are these people?"

Edward glanced up at his superior, and with a barely noticeable nod from the colonel, Ed sighed.

"This might take awhile…"

After the clean up team had had the chimera safely contained and Edward got some treatment for his injuries, the host club, Edward, the colonel, and lieutenant Hawkeye had sat down in music room three with a cup of tea and had a long talk.

Most of it was Edward trying to explain his status in the military, but he had to give the floor to Mustang since he just didn't have the patience for telling long boring stories that he didn't think had a point anyway.

Lieutenant Hawkeye mostly just sat there, taking it all in with an impressive poker face, occasionally adding in little important tidbits that the Colonel and Edward missed.

The host listened intently. Tamaki was eating it all up, and kept interrupting to the point where Ed had to karate chop his head in annoyance. The twins were like Tamaki, but less intense. Mori and Hawkeye seemed to have an ongoing private staring contest, and Honey leaned in a little too close for comfort and offered hugs when not necessary. Kyoya wrote everything down in his ledger, and Haruhi seemed confused at the whole concept of alchemy bit, but otherwise totally accepted everything else without a second thought.

The day was almost over when everything was explained, and Edward had next to no patience left. For anything.

When the host club finally let him go home, he unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside, not bothering to turn on the light switch. He tripped over a few bits of furniture, and then made his way over to the fridge for a snack before bed.

That was when he heard the sound.

A slight scuffle towards the sound of his room. His head shot up, the memory of the chimera still fresh in his mind.

He gritted his teeth and looked to the side. He knew it wasn't the Colonel or the lieutenant; they were both staying at a nearby hotel.

Closing the fridge slowly, Edward walked quietly toward his room, every ounce of him on guard. He had a brief vision of the chimera sneaking into his apartment and ripping his throat out while he slept, but shook it away irritably. Whatever it was, it wasn't the chimera.

`Edward wrenched the door open had to let his eyes adjust to the light bursting out of the room, but when his eyes finally focused, he froze at what he saw.

"Oh, hi brother."

"Al!"

Not even caring anymore, Edward ran up without hesitation and gave his little brother a huge hug.

"Al, what the hell are you doing here?"

If Alphonse could smile, he would have. "I came with colonel mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye, they said I could."

Edward was grinning from ear to ear, "It's good to see you again, Al."

**A/N: OMG I FINALLY POSTED! Funny, I'm not dead. **

** After about two and a half months, I finally came back to this and started writing. The beginning of this is good, the last bit is too fast though. (I really should start editing.)**

** I take back that comment I said last chapter about people waiting months until they update, because now I'm a hypocrite. You have my sincerest apologies.**

** Oh yeah, and Edward quit. Yeah, I would've fired him anyway (lie) I mean, he always hit me on the head all the time (true). In any case, he quit. Caput. Gone. No more. He got too fed up with me being his boss, so he left to find the philosiphers stone. So, you guys all have to deal with this random stunt double being Edward!**

** Stunt-double-that-doesn't-really-do-anything-because-Edward-pulls-off-all-his-own-stunts: Yay.**

** REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**

** Hope you all enjoyed! This is Shadow, signing out.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

**A/N: Last chapter guys! After this I go on to the FMA game show! **

**Anyway, not sure who said this, but no, Alphonse is not dead. I'm sorry if I accidentally gave you that impression or something. Did you… like, mix up my fanfic with somebody elses? I make that mistake a lot so I wouldn't be surprised.**

**Sorry if the end of last chapter had too much fluff. I just wanted to shove Al in there somewhere and I kinda just guessed at how Edward would react.**

**Disclaimer: You guys know the drill. Ouran and FMA don't belong to me, although if I had the money and power I would somehow buy Bones studio. (My secret daydream)**

"You're leaving?"

"But you only just got here!"

"Edo-chan…"

Edward gritted his teeth. The plan was to hop on the early morning train and head back to Japan right away, but since Kyoya seemed to be able to keep tabs on nearly everyone in the country, the entire host club had followed them to the station.

It seemed like Edward could never get away from these guys.

They all had practically glomped him as soon as he had stepped foot on the platform, and now it seemed like they were never going to let him leave.

"Edward!" Tamaki wailed, "What has brought upon you the urge to leave us? Is it true love? A romantic endeavor? Is there some kind of-"

"My job, actually."

Tamaki didn't seem to hear and continued to ramble, stuck in his own personal fantasy.

Hikaru and Kaoru appeared on either side of Edward and put their elbows on his shoulders,

"You should come visit sometime," Hikaru said,

"We can take you to the beach," Kaoru finished.

Ed decided not to tell them that he couldn't swim as that would just give them more leverage against him.

"Yeah," Edward waved them off, "My train is leaving now so…"

That was when he found himself drowning in a wave of over-emotional high school students. Thankfully, Kyoya, Mori, and Haruhi had all kept their distance, but everyone else decided it would be a good time to play squish-the-Edward.

"We'll miss you so much!" They all cried, Ed had a brief memory of a certain muscular major he knew who had a tendency to strip. He shuddered.

"Yeah, yeah." Edward pushed them off him, "See you guys some other time. Chances are we'll be back someday."

They were about to step on the train when Edward was stopped by Kyoya.

"Edward," He said, "In case you ever wish to look into this… I have a relative who lives in your country. He goes by the name of doctor Marcoh. I heard from my sources that he has been doing some research on something called the Philosophers Stone."

Kyoya had Edward's full attention by now. Edward had a moment of fear for a second that Kyoya somehow knew about him and his brother's quest to get their bodies back, but assured himself that there was no way Kyoya could have gotten that information.

Kyoya ruffled Edward's hair before walking off, hands in his pockets. Edward then turned to face Haruhi. They both could relate to each other, as they felt like they were the only sane people in this crazy rich-kids world, but Edward was a little disappointed he didn't get to know her better. She reminded him a lot of Winry.

Winry… He would never admit it out loud, not even to Alphonse, but he missed her. More than he was willing to allow himself to believe.

"Well, see you around Ed." Haruhi waved a little.

"You too," Edward gave a little half-smile and glanced at the waiting host club, "You know, even though it might not seem like it, those guys really care about you, don't take it for granted, okay?"

Haruhi looked confused but didn't say anything else, turning back towards the hosts with a raised eyebrow.

The train whistle blew and Alphonse called out to Edward with a wild wave of his hand. Edward said one last goodbye to everyone and got onto the train, he would never tell anyone, but he actually had some pretty okay times with these psychos. He might miss them.

Maybe.

When he was seated on the train across from Alphonse, Ed's thoughts drifted back to Kyoya's words. He felt a small twinge of excitement and hope in his stomach, maybe if he found this Doctor Marcoh guy he would be another step closer to the philosopher's stone. He would be another step closer to getting Al's body back. Edward smiled into his hand.

The adventure just never seemed to stop.

Fin

**A/N: Yeah, shortness. I'm sorry. I kinda just wrapped it up really quickly and didn't think much about the content…**

** If you haven't already guessed by the "Fin" this is the last chapter. Yeah… I probably should've given you guys a little more warning about that little tidbit but what can you do? **

** I apologize profusely for the terribly put-together ending. Hell, I may as well apologize for the whole freaking story. I might possibly maybe edit this and make it ten times better then the crap it is now but I'm a lazy butt this year, so maybe new years… **

** Anyway, if you want to stick around and read my replies to reviews, stick around! If you want to get this all over with and get on with your lives, you're more then welcome to do whatever it is you guys do in your lives.**

** (Warning: I really only replied to the reviews I figured needed a reply because they were questions or the ones that I just wanted to answer. I apologize if you get all mad that I didn't reply to your review. Just PM me or whatever and I'll PM you right back. … More than likely with a snarky comment but whatever.)**

** Guest: Actually… maybe I am dead and I'm just writing this from ghost heaven! Some serious stuff is about to go down…**

** Yami's Devil: Sorry! Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry! I put in some action, and then some fluff, and I didn'teventhinkaboutputtinghumori nitIamsosorry!**

** RoxyStar05: So… it was you who kidnapped me and made me think I lived in a can of sardines my entire life… Edward! Attack! Ed: …Yeah, no.**

** Hopeless Alchemist: Nooo… he's not dead…**

** XAtomican: Sorry, when I started this I actually hadn't read An Alchemist At Ouran High, but after your review I checked it out and yeah, they do have a lot of similarities. I'm really sorry.**

** TheLastNoel: Hah! But I have my ninja skills to protect me!**

** Okay, that's it for reviews. And I'm also very sorry if a) I made it seem too EdxHaruhi. Trust me, that wasn't my intention. Or b) there wasn't enough lovey dovey stuff for you guys. I'm not much of a romance writer and this wasn't supposed to be a romance fic so…**

** Author's Note getting long now… Alrighty, see you all in the near future!**

** This is Shadow, signing out!**


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